Some more thoughts
Thought No. 1Recently, I read an article in the Life! section of the Straits Times, written by a columnist who rave about the way to attract girls is to not be a nice guy. In it he mentioned that he has always been a nice guy and as a result fail to be attractive. And when he followed the instructions mentioned in the book "Game", he apparently managed to sweep a newly met girl off her feet. What strikes me wasn't whether being a nice guy is attractive or not. But rather, if a "nice guy" can act like a "not nice" guy for some ulterior motive, then it appear that he might not a real "nice guy". Instead he might have just put on the "nice guy" front for some motive as well, to gain acceptance or sort. And what's the point of putting on a false front to attract the girl? Unless, of course, the guy is just looking for a short term relationship, or maybe just so that he can bed the girl.
Thought No. 2
As I was watching a drama recently, there was a scene where one of the character mentioned that the idea of chastity was no longer valid in modern times. Somehow it trigger me to think about this issue of chastity. For those who felt the same way as the character I mentioned, the emphasis on chastity is a thing of the past, giving an impression it is something of the ancient world, when kings rules and wars were fought with swords and on horsebacks. It led me to think about the origin of the importance of chastity. It is definitely not a default thing, since sexual acts form the basic insticts of mankind. This means that it must have been introduced at some point of civilisation. But for what purpose? Very often, most people will think that it is a product of male chauvinism. Then again, if we were to think about it, it doesn't make sense because it prevents men from having sex with anyone they like. Why would a male chauvinist come up with something that does not benefit his species? Maybe there is some other reasons...
We should note that for human civilisation, family forms the basic unit. Without the improtance placed on chastity, there will bound to be many pregnancies outside of a family unit (since there wasn't any contraception at that time). In this case, all responsibilties of bringing up the child will fall on the women alone. Maybe some wise man come up with this idea to prevent this situation, so that all babies will be borne inside of a family unit, where one member can take care of the child while the other sources for food. By ensuring that sex can take place only after the men have committed to form a family with the women, it helps to increase the security of women and ensure that they will be taken care of. Hmm, as it seems, maybe the idea of chastity was introduced to protect women in ancient times. And a side benefit is that, it helps to restrict the spread of STDs to the confinement of brothels. Of course, we must acknowledge the fact that the over-emphasis on the importance of chastity in the past did bring harm to some girls. Some lives are ruined because of that.
In the current context, of course, we cannot expect our partner to be a virgin. However, some of the things might still apply. With the presence of the many types of contraception, the possibilities of having babies outside of a family unit is greatly reduced (even inside of family unit, its hard to have baby also...). With the acceptance of sex before marriage, it produced a group of guys that are roaming out there looking for a good time, trying to score as much goals as they can. As most girls normally attached more emotions to the sexual act, only willing to have sex with someone they like, these guys will do whatever they can to win the hearts of girls, score the goal they are looking for, then dump the girl for a new target. Of course, with their experience and arsenal of tactics, they tends to be able to win the hearts of their target with higher probability which in turn increases the number of girls that is going to get hurt by their hunting habits. Without the need for committment, sex becomes merely a game for many, an activity to satisfy the carnal desires of mankind, and sometimes an attribute for them to boast about.
Thought No. 3
During my reservist, one of my friends mentioned that an attractive celebrity declared once in a pub that she can get any guys she wants. Needless to say, that comment sets me off thinking again. Well, with her looks, of course she can get any guys she wants, but only to have sex with her. She will not be able to get them to love her. So what good does it do to just be able to want to go to bed with you? While I must admit that being physical attractive does have its perks in many area, but it make it harder to determine if someone really love you. Does he love you as a person, or he only love your body? For a sexually attactive woman, he loves her because he want to have sex with her, but for a sexually less attractive woman, he have sex with her because he loves her.
posted by Ah Loy @ 5:02 PM
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